I’ve never been water-boarded, and don’t plan on it, however I’m pretty sure this next example is damn close: having on wet shoes. Everyone knows the feeling of having their precious toesies amidst life’s equivalent to the ever frustrating “Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time” Water Temple (you know, the one that made you never finish that game and you’re secretly ashamed of the fact).

Shoes + Wet - Feet = Joy

So here’s the situation, you just walked 2 miles of successfully dodging puddles when your soon-to-not-be-friend pushes you into one. After disposing your friend in a nearby gutter (for irony purposes), you’ll develop the sudden loathing of yourself for not wearing boots that day. After you gather your dignity and realize the cops are probably on your ass for murdering that douche-friend of yours, naturally you’ll run your ass to your secret lair.

Either way; secret lair or prison, your shoes are going to get removed, and it’s going to be amazing. Don’t get too caught up in the moment and forget to take your socks off as well because *spoilers*, that’s pretty damn amazing as well. Once your shoes are removed, revel in the crisp crackling nudity your toes are now experiencing. Rub them. Squeeze them. Love them. None of these are recommended if you have Athlete’s Foot.