Reassurance at its finest.

The Science Corner: “Why is this picture so amazing?”
Well I’m glad you wandered over to the science corner to inquire. I’ll break it down for you:

1. Thumbs Up: The “thumbs up”  is the absolute classic example of bestowing confidence to fellow members of mankind. Maverick dares to push it farther. He is giving you a thumbs way up. To the skies. Maverick is bringing his thumbs so high up for you, that he bought a plane just to tell you how much you rock.

2. The Look: The expression of Maverick’s face lets you know that he is proud of you, while still respecting you as a peer.

3. Color Scheme: America.

If you were depressed before this, now you aren’t. If anyone is ever feeling down upon themselves, simply send them this picture in a card (unless they are from some nations in the Middle East or South America… it has a slightly different connotation over there)… or you could always just send them to this page (I’m aware my shameless plug is hanging out, I like it that way).

Share/Bookmark

A Perspective from the Male Mind:

Phase 1: Suspect
You know, she’s always hanging out with that guy Larry. I wonder what the deal is. I’m starting to get nervous. They have been to the disco together every Tuesday. How come he gets to go to girls-night-out, yet I don’t? That’s really not fair. She must be fucking him. That has to be it. They have so many inside jokes. He must be inside her. Right now.

Phase 2: O RLY?
What’s that? Larry’s gay? Oh… haha…. of course… right… his love for Kiss Me, Kate makes sense now.

Phase 3: Take Advantage
Oh hey, Cindy, go hang out with Larry, yeah, have a great time! Whenever you’re thinking of hanging out with Bill or Butch, why don’t you just hang out with Larry instead, you guys are such great friends!

BRB.

I BELIEVE IN HAPPINESS AGAIN!

Phase 4: Come Home from Epic Mountain Trip Early
and find out she has been boning Bill and Butch the entire time. I really should have suspected this considering “Bill and Butch” sound like either hitmen, or guys that fuck your girlfriend.

Share/Bookmark

I could make a joke about procrastinating writing this article, however I’ll wait. I’m sure I’ll get to it later. Don’t worry about it.

The beauty of procrastination comes wrapped in instant satisfaction. Why would one punish themselves willingly? To have fun later? If an evil Nazi doctor is about to pluck your eyes out, wouldn’t you attempt to persuade him to give you just a few more seconds with your lovely eyes? Procrastination is like that, and you get to keep your eyes!

Another amazing thing about procrastination is that it makes everything absolutely beautiful; it’s the miracle that allows me to stare at a wall for an hour… and make it feel great.

"I'm... admiring the masonry for my... uhh... masonry class I might be taking next year."

It will also most likely make everything on this website that much more hilarious, because it’s simply better than doing work! It’s science! As a human, we have quite the large intellectual brain, and we’re expected to work because of that (damn you dolphins for keeping under the radar!); by not working, and just enjoying ourselves, it’s like slapping Mother Nature in the face with your own free-will. You’re taking your brain back and doing what YOU want with it… which is not using it. And now you, the reader, are getting a few mentions of science, anatomy, and other smart things to make yourself feel productive while procrastinating! The perfect excuse to tell yourself!

Now go read the rest of this website, it’s educational!

Share/Bookmark

Accuracy is our favorite priority.

Share/Bookmark